Friday, 6 November 2015

Narrative OGR

                                                                              The Animatic



  1. It's beautiful! There are a few things that we might make different when it comes to the animation but if this doesn't explain to everyone what it will look like then nothing will :) so happy about this!

    1. Just to make a note of the differences here: I think the camera should be zoomed into the feet more when Twit walks in and stay on the feet while he sits down, then zooms out to show him and the girl on the bench.

  2. Radiant Cube

    In general terms, you’re group is clearly working together well, as your OGR is able to communicate your intentions and evidences a commitment to bringing all the pieces together.

    So, the short version of your film is this: were character 1 just to speak with character 2 (as opposed to mediate his interest through social media), this relationship might have actually gone somewhere, right? Here, social media is being presented as an impediment to human relationships, as opposed to facilitating them. For me, the fact that your boy character is a ‘personification’ of Twitter is actually a bit unnecessary in getting this simple story told effectively. That is not to say that I don’t like the design of Chirper (I do) I’m just saying that were this sweet story told between two ordinary young people, I think the story would be even more available to audiences – and more about ‘everyone’. At heart, this is actually about a ritual or moment we all recognize – plucking up the courage to make a connection with someone we fancy. If this was a regular boy sitting next to a regular girl, and then we see him mediating the moment though the use of social media – and missing out because of it – your story would be more resonant. The addition of Chirper adds, for me, a level of peculiarity and ‘special status’ that makes this story a bit less about the real world and universal experience.

    For me, if the character designs of the boy and the girl were just to normalize a bit – i.e. if the same person drew them both – then I think your story would pretty much work as depicted in your animatic. It might be that the whole world is informed by the ‘Chirper idea’ (i.e. that the boy and girl are both ‘Twitter’ inspired in terms of their shapes) and that’s the ‘normal’ aesthetic of your animation world, or you jettison some of that eccentricity, and make this animation world more ‘normal’ in terms of the design of the human figures.

    This might sound like a big critique; it isn’t; your story works, the use of the split screen works, and the message communicates, I just think everything would work better if the boy and girl were more obviously cut from the same cloth in design terms and if the boy wasn’t a personification of social media, but rather a shy young man whose life is mediated by through social media, when a bit of human-to-human contact would be much more effective in ‘getting the girl’. - PG

    Overall this is a successful OGR pitch, your animatic reads well and is definitely the story discussed in tutorials, there are good designs for both characters and environments. However there are minor flaws but on balance these are elements which are easily dealt with. Firstly the characters are mismatched – The girl character doesn’t match the stylization of the boy (or vice versa). The boy is a personification of social media where she is not. Both are drawn by different artists at different times. Simply put one needs to walk into the others universe. I’m inclined to say that the girl becomes redesigned to suit the more unusual boy character to keep the social media theme going, however this can be dealt with boy becoming the same level of design as the girl too – Either will work and a solution should be debated by the group before progressing. Secondly I’d suggest that there is still a little way to go with the design of the interface (Chirper). Whilst the overall design works the graphics are scaled differently and floating (not nested) in areas. A replacement font (similar to Ariel) may also be needed to improve the design. - AP